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Joke of the Day

"Apple products of late is a crime against good design The iPhone battery case should be charged as an accessory"

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"Hate it when a mum automatically assumes their baby is hungry when they cry. Maybe they're crying for a stable economy. YOU DON'T KNOW!"
"What do you call a cow who has just had an abortion? De-calf-inated"
"My friend told me I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. I told him I'm not a tool or in a shed. Sure showed him."
"[God creating cheesecake] GOD: [stuffing his face] oh man this is so good ANGEL: shouldn't u share it? GOD: [creates lactose intolerance]"
"The older I get, the more I relate to those angry elderly people who go around biting others."
"Don't worry if you missed 4/20 Because today is 4/20 too!"
"Let's play the lion and the lion tamer Open your mouth and I'll give you the meat"
"My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw."
"If life gives you melons You might be dyslexic."