42012

Joke of the Day

"What's a orphans first words? I don't know. But it sure as hell isn't mommy or daddy."

"They say ""once you go black, you never go back,"" but.. If it's Hispanic, you know it's *gigantic!*"

"I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them."

"What's the difference between an erection and a Camaro? I don't have a Camaro...."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram."

"""Write this down."" [Moses grabs tablet] ""Thou shalt not steal [raises eyebrow] where did you get that tablet from?"""

"one liner: a dyslexic tells a joke two Jews walk into a bra"

"How did Godzilla escape the trains? He threw them off their tracks."

"When a man hates takoyaki Does it mean it is takoyucky?"

"Hillary Clinton is elected President. JK."