42005

Joke of the Day

"The Mrs recognizes my ""tell"" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud ""A-OOGA"" noise."

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack*, ""Darn!"" A skydiver goes ""Darn!"" *whack*"

"Who is this ""one""? And why is he always arguing with people?"

"TIL this is a shameless copy of one of the top posts on this sub just changing a few words Woops wrong sub"

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well"

"As a girl: Tinder is like a refrigerator full of food but with nothing I want to eat."

"Im going to make a joke about Polish people They're shiny"

"Even if your a one in a million kind of guy There are a thousand people just like you in China"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? THATS NOT FUNNY!"

"""guns don't kill people, guns CREATE people!"" *fires 10 newborn babies out of a bazooka*"