42001

Joke of the Day

"*Cowboy stares at the horizon* ""A storm's comin"" [In the distance, Darude 'Sandstorm' can be heard faintly] *Cowboy cracks a glowstick*"

"My girlfriend was asked to step aside and frisked at the airport for resembling a Friends character. I think she was a victim of Rachel profiling."

"Do you know what happened in the bathroom? Me either, but I heard a lot of shit going down."

"I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I bet they are probably pretty damn tasty."

"Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips? Because he's a waiter. (lol)"

"How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic? None of the North Korean athletes defected."

"I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen."

"When I'm horny, I stroll into rooms on all fours, with my ass shaking up in the air, meowing incessantly until someone throws a shoe at me."

"I've just won the 2013 'Most secretive person' award. I can't tell you how much it means to me."

"Confucius Say It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence."