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Joke of the Day

"My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, ""How old are you?"" I said, ""I'm five."" He said, ""When I was your age I was six."""

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Its a trick question... Feminists cant change shit"

"Hickory dickory dock Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one And the other two got away with minor injuries."

"People think it's great if you like kids but will freak out if you assign an age. I like 10 year olds. See? Creepy. I'll wait in the van."

"Spain are blaming their loss this evening on the weather. Apparently it was 2 Chile."

"What web page do orphans visit the most? 404 Edit: Sorry it sucks, it's me trying to make oc."

"I live in fear that one day the real ""World's Greatest Dad"" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug."

"Pizza Hut: Hello Me: I'd like a hot dog bites pizzas PH: Pick up or delivery? Me: Based on that order, you think I get off the couch?"

"Eat shit dude! No seriously, it's good for your eyes. You've never seen a dog with glasses have you?"

"If you love someone, set them on fire. If they come back, it's a phoenix"