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Joke of the Day

"I've whittled my Starbucks order down to 11 minutes so don't you dare tell me about sacrifice."

"Why did the knife quit? It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! ~Skip"

"If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll."

"What's a Brazillian's least favorite math chapter to do? 7-1"

"Did you know i DJ? Yeah, but I only do it every unce in a while."

"My friends bakery had burned down yesterday Now his business is toast."

"What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common? The both came in a little behind"

"2 men walked into a bar And their head hit first."

"Why are tuna fish so bad a playing Tennis? They keep getting caught in the net!"

"How do the French defend a city? We don't know, they've never tried it."