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Joke of the Day

"If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll."

"Do you know why ants are so healthy? Because they have little antibodies..."

"I was getting a massage and I asked the masseuse if it was normal for a man to get an erection He replied that it was. So I asked if he could get it out of my face."

"PMS jokes are not funny. Period."

"My description of today's front page... BEARY FUNNY!!!! http://i.imgur.com/en5msOs.png"

"Which alligator lives in the arctic? The refridgegator."

"My brain is like Internet Explorer Slow, rarely used, and needs some things deleted from its history"

"What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath? The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure."

"If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."

"Why did the seal make a Tinder account? To find a Significant Otter."