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Joke of the Day
"When I wrote ""Spiritual"" on my online-dating profile, I meant I like to watch 'Ghostbusters'."
Next Joke
"don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy ""the player"" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller ""the game"""
"This is no place for memorials, petitions, or any of that emotional shit."
"Why did the pharaoh retire? Because he did not want to be part of a pyramid scheme"
"What is the difference between Issac Newton and the 5 year old i just stabbed to death? Issac Newton died a virgin."
"How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors."
"What do black people and bikes have in common? They stop working when you take the chains off"
"Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: ""Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in the US perhaps but certainly not everyone in the world."""
"Where do you park Two Ships of Theseus? At a Pair of Docks"
"A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything."