202533

Joke of the Day

"don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy ""the player"" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller ""the game"""

"What did the VW spokeswoman say after the EPA tester discovered the emissions discrepancy? Nothing, she was embarrassed."

"Why did the dyslexic engineer fail college? Because he didn't understand psychics."

"The miserly squirrel never found a mate, because he insisted on a prenutshell agreement."

"Grammar died so that Twitter could live."

"I have a friend who doesn't drink coffee, so to stay alert at work he gets a healthy amount of sleep each night. What a loser"

"The new Pope got Bird flu... ...I heard he caught it from one of his Cardinals."

"What did the ghost say to the bumblebee? BOO BEE!! <insert titty-twister here>"

"What does velcro yell as it charges into battle? ATTACH!"

"Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining."