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Joke of the Day

"What was the Scientologist's favorite movie? The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Why, you ask? ... It was a cult classic!"

"I'm very good at hurdles In fact I hold the personal record"

"Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32"

"Q: If Bill Clinton Hillary Clinton Al Gore and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized who would be saved? A: The United States of America!"

"If you start a conversation with ""you're gonna say I'm crazy"" there's nothing I can do but to congratulate you on your clairvoyance."

"An open letter to the President of the United States. Dear Mr. President I know where you live."

"The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog's poop."

"What do you call a Mexican Super Saiyan? Fajita"

"I lost my watch at a party once... I saw this guy stepping on it while sexually assaulting a girl. I walked up to him and punched him right in the nose. No one does that to a girl. Not on my watch."

"What do Yoda's sheep say? Dey go baa."