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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sick of people looking at me funny because I choose to breast feed. If I wanna get my milk straight from the cow, then that's up to me."

"In response to Wikipedia's ""price of a cup of coffee is all we need"" fundraiser. I like my coffee like my wikipedia. Free!"

"Girlfriend is having trouble opening an oyster at dinner. She hands it to me to open. Just as I pry it open, I say, ""The easiest way to open this is with a little mussel"""

"According to old paintings, there's mad titties in heaven."

"Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease? A. Because they're all pigs."

"They say you are what you eat, but I don't remember eating a massive disappointment."

"If by 'lucky' you mean I remember to clean the lint trap so it doesn't self combust, then yes, I'm up all night to get lucky. . . Again."

"What noise does a cat make going down the highway ? Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !"

"There was 30 cows in a field and 20 8(ate) how many didn't? 10"

"America & UK are competing to see who can fuck up their country the most... UK is in the lead... but America has a Trump card."