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Joke of the Day
"How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch? The screen stays black when you check the time."
Next Joke
"Did you know Lysol kills 99.9% of germs & my toothpaste has tartar control? You would too if you sat in my bathroom without your phone."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Arizona ! Arizona who ? Arizona room for one of us in this town !"
"Well, that escalated quickly! http://imgur.com/Sjrxt6L"
"What do nails like to do on the weekend? Get hammered."
"The Purge... My brother said he would be able to survive ""The Purge"" if it were real. I put a few laxatives in his coffee we'll see about that..."
"What do you call a guy who does not fart in public? A private tutor."
"An unsharpened pencil... ...is pointless."
"They found a cure for pedophiles. They turn them into dyslexics... ... so they go around looking for Pop Tarts instead of tot parts."
"Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your Job still sucks"