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Joke of the Day

"What did the Chinese man in an unhappy marriage say when he found out his wife faked her death? ""I never bereaved her anyways."""

"Molestation, mo'problems"

"What's 20 foot long, screams like a banshee and has no pubes? The front row of a One Direction concert."

"What happens when you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards? It keeps coming, and coming, and coming..."

"How was marriage instituted? A bunch of prostitutes wanted to start a labor union."

"When you're feeling bored and unsatisfied with life, just remember... That there are some people who think Golf is interesting."

"Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once? I didn' fink fo"

"Once you stop doing functional programming... You never return"

"a sociologist finally solved the mystery of why men tend to die earlier than their respective wives they want to."

"Give it to me, I'm so fucking wet! Give it to me! no matter how much she begged, I would't give her the umbrella"