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Joke of the Day

"The judge gave me 7 days to live... So I shot myself. The doctor gave me 4 months. Problem solved. B)"

"What do you call Trump and Hillary buried up to their necks in sand? Progress"

"Did you hear about the perverted statistician? Standard deviation wasn't enough for him anymore..."

"Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!"

"The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I'm home alone and my power goes out."

"What is the capital of Greece? They have no capital."

"What do Spiderman and I have in common? We're both in love with Mary Jane"

"I bet the LAPD gets a lot of calls about ""a lost, lonely-looking little girl"" that turn out to be David Spade walking home."

"What kind of computer can sing? A Dell."

"What did the metaphysicist say when he came out of the bathroom? shit just got real!"