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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!"
Next Joke
"2015: I can't believe people think the dress is blue and black 2016: I hope the human race doesn't destroy itself forever in violent chaos"
"Lif is too short."
"God is Love... ... But Satan does that thing you like with his tongue."
"""I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others""- The phrase that started Facebook."
"What do you call an electronic bowl? Ebowla"
"""mainstream"" = ""white people found out"""
"Blood is thicker than water. Then again, so is oatmeal, and I would much rather be oatmeal brothers."
"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? I'm in a High Occupancy lane Cop: Yes...wait IS THAT A JOINT? Yeah I'm HIGH lol Cop: My bad, free to go"
"I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled."