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Joke of the Day

"How do you know the economy is only getting worse? On the latest episode of ""Celebrity Apprentice"", Donald Trump fired himself!"

"Why did Olly call the manager for help, outside the store? For the watch.."

"[senses date is losing interest in me] ""my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"""

"When is a Pixie not a Pixie? When its head is up a Fairy's skirt, then it's a goblin."

"What idiot called it a paternity test and not a pop quiz?"

"If you're waiting on me to 'get ready' I'm probably just spending 20 minutes trying to get my hoodie strings the same length."

"Hebrew Jokes How do you get a Jewish number........ you role up her sleeve"

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around... ...because they don't know I'm using blanks."

"Lady beavers call their vaginas, ""people"""

"I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself."