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Joke of the Day

"""I'm sure if I show my gf my Twitter, she'll understand it's just for fun."" Said a bunch of now single guys."

"Q: What do little trees say on Halloween? A: Twig or treat."

"I bet my butcher 50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said ""No, the steaks are too high""."

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark."

"It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"What does Drew Carey have in his driveway? Cleveland Rocks!"

"WHAT DO WE WANT?! A CURE FOR TOURETTE'S! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! CUNT!"

"What did the clam with a lisp say to his greedy friend? You're so shelfish!"

"LPT: Never take advice from people on Reddit. Not even this."

"Knock Knock..... Whos there?? 9x11 9x11 Who?? 9x11 paper fight... I came up with this is a fit of insanity from sleep deprivation, so just laugh at it."