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Joke of the Day

"I'm voting my fridge for president. Because America needs to chill the fuck out."

"If you've ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you've obviously never been married."

"What do you call someone who hates Asians A riceist"

"What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp? I don't know. I'm retiring next month."

"Yay know, I'm no pedophile, but this childporn charge is some bullshit... Since when was it illegal search for euthanasia?"

"Notice at Church: Don't leave your mobiles, purses, wallets, handbags, girlfriends unattended. Others may think it is an answer to their prayers."

"Ladies, if he says he's six foot four inches, make sure that's not two separate measurements."

"What do you call a Muslim on a plane. The pilot, you racist bitch."

"What do you call a time traveler who masturbated in the future? A blast from the past."

"SON: How are monster trucks made? ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: [glares] ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane"