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Joke of the Day

"Planters will be distributing exclusively to airlines. That's just plane nuts."

"What did the bread maker say to the wheat? I loave you."

"Why did the stop sign get an STD? Because it had a 4-way."

"What's the only thing Gary the gay geneticist loves more than he loves his boyfriend, Bill? Designer jeans."

"I guess it goes without saying that I'm the Han Solo of Twitter, and you guys are Ewoks. Not even the Ewoks with names. Background Ewoks."

"What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant."

"There is a man with a friend who is a ninja.... The man asks, ""Ninja, can you help me out with this lightbulb?"" The ninja replies ""Shur-i-ken!"""

"Did you hear about the one asian guy who failed calculus? He was the odd Nguyen out."

"I can see myself going up in the world... The mirror in the elevator is pretty shiny."

"""I'm sorry, but are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"" -Fun way to confuse a waiter who just suggested a menu item"