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Joke of the Day

"In case you wondered, Fathers Day is to thank Dad for nailing your mother. Mothers Day is to thank Mom for not swallowing you"

"Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year? They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom."

"America's immigration problems are over. Who'd want to live here?"

"Why do the Irish have 239 beans in their soup? If they had one more it would be to farty"

"If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face... If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother"

"I heard Donald Trump has read a lot of different books.. ..Apparently for the most part he never made it past Chapter 11."

"Did you hear about the goblin whose left arm and left leg cut off? Guess what he's alright now!"

"What do you call it when somebody kills a perfect circle of religious leaders? A 360 No-Pope"

"They say that a person's surname is named after whatever their ancestors did to make a living I feel sorry for the guy who's dad was the first person to be called ""Dickinson"""

"Why do blondes have ""TGIF"" on the front of their shirts? **T**its **G**o **I**n **F**ront"