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Joke of the Day

"If Israel gets wiped off the map... Then we'll have to start calling it Wasrael"

"What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common? They both like to pork."

"I want to be a large, Southern black woman who fans herself in church when I grow up."

"Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with dysentery? One of them shucks between fits."

"An upvote is like a minute of sex. I'd like 1000, but I can only muster 5."

"Baby metamorphosis I feel like nobody names their baby Craig. One day, around age 35, the baby just becomes Craig. that is all"

"Might love you quicker if you bring me more Liquor."

"I wonder if I could save more than 15% on my car insurance if Geico wasn't paying for so many fucking commercials?"

"Why was the motorcycle going so slow? Because it was two tired!"