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Joke of the Day

"An upvote is like a minute of sex. I'd like 1000, but I can only muster 5."

"Where do snowmen put their webpages? On the winternet."

"saw license plate GODLSNS and am not sure whether it's God Listens or Godlessness. doin devil horns anyway"

"This cashier was totally just checking me out, you guys."

"What do we want? HEARING AIDS! When do we want them? WHAT?!"

"Why do crowd control police go earlier to work? To beat the crowd."

"The original Karate Kid is currently the same age as Mr. Miyagi was in the movie, 51. My youth just got crane kicked in the bean bag."

"I sure hope skinny jeans are still in fashion. After all the calories I consumed over the holidays that's what all my pants are now."

"A man goes to a partially deaf doctors Man: Doctor Doctor I can't remember who sang the Pinball Wizard. Doctor: The....... who?"

"Time does'nt exist. Clocks exists."