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Joke of the Day

"I wrote a book It's called Oceans 2: The Seaquel"

"if you whisper ""snapchat"" in the mirror 3 times a white girl will appear and say ""hold on let me grab my Bacardi before you take the pic!"""

"A mushroom walks into a bar... A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says ""whoa there, little guy! Didn't you see the sign? No mushrooms allowed!"" The mushroom says ""why not?! I'm a fun guy!"""

"What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast? You can make soldiers out of toast!"

"Why Do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there."

"Just out of curiosity, does anyone here use RES? Because I'm really wishing that they'd changed the 'Hide Child Comments' button for the Chris Hansen AMA."

"What did the depressed pimp want for his birthday? to be alone with his thots"

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message"

"It's unfair to call me lactose intolerant when you consider what I'm willing to go through for lactose."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine keeps its pricks on the OUTSIDE"