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Joke of the Day

"Just out of curiosity, does anyone here use RES? Because I'm really wishing that they'd changed the 'Hide Child Comments' button for the Chris Hansen AMA."

"My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook."

"How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake! Edit: Holy shit I didn't even realize it was my cake day. Woah"

"Me: I've been constipated for 2 months. Friend: No shit?"

"painting Painting is the second thing in the world that requires hand and imagination simultaneously"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Cockinasoreass. (Better when said aloud)"

"Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks *Impales Flutist* ""Must be flute poisoning"" *Bludgeons French Horn Player* ""Am I making you horny?"" *Throws Tuba player off cliff* ""Tu...bad"""

"Heroin use among horses have grown But finding the evidence is like finding a needle in a haystack."

"I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot"

"I got a hair cut for $10 At this rate, its gonna cost me a million dollars to get them all cut."