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Joke of the Day
"Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged? Their boyfriends eat with their hats on."
Next Joke
"Vagina jokes are not funny! Period."
"Sex is like the Dudley Do Right Show. And her orgasm is like that poor women trapped on the train tracks while you franticly try and get her off before the train comes on her face."
"The miserly squirrel never found a mate, because he insisted on a prenutshell agreement."
"Take your teenage girl to Disney world, Quickly. Next year she will want to spend her holidays sucking off strangers in Magaluf..."
"Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene except it's me throat punching you for trying to eat my food."
"Me: My dog ran away two days ago Dog pound: Does he have a tag? Me [covers phone to ask wife]: Is the dog on Instagram?"
"Just got out of the shower and lotioned up Unfortunately I'm not a chick so this won't get 624 faves"
"What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity? Making their wrist look like their jeans. (I'm sorry)"
"What Pokemon gave Nintendo cancer? Pokemon Uranium"