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Joke of the Day

"Take your teenage girl to Disney world, Quickly. Next year she will want to spend her holidays sucking off strangers in Magaluf..."

"When someone in their 20's talks about ""old people"" they're talking about us."

"In an attempt to build some exercise into my daily routine, I've put the biscuits on a higher shelf. Boy, I'm gonna be sore tomorrow."

"I put $1 aside every time my girlfriend has sex with me, and that's how much I'll spend for her birthday present So far I'm getting one fancy-ass glove."

"[GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is? Because his watch has ended."

"What do American beer and a canoe have in common? Both are fucking close to water."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aladdin ! Aladdin who ? Aladdin the street wants a word with you !"

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactoes"

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"Steve Buscemi makes me regret buying a high definition tv."