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Joke of the Day

"wife: Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?! me [stops jumping]: You would have said no"

"A woman who sits on a judges lap... Get's an honorable discharge."

"What do you call a woman that won't make a sandwich? An ambulance."

"Perfect Date: 1) Get kids out of the house 2) Light some candles 3) Burn the house down 4) Collect the insurance 5) Take her somewhere nice"

"Why is the Ocean blue? Because the fish go blublublu."

"I went on a date last night with Hellen Keller. I'll never go on a blind date again."

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? A hippo weighs a ton while a zippo is a little lighter."

"Wife sees me naked at least once a day every day. How do you apologize properly for something like that?"

"u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question"