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Joke of the Day

"Under the sea, under the sea...wouldn't the water pressure crush mermaids, realistically?"

"I Am So Depressed. I Think Suicide Is The Only Answer. If my bitch ex-wife would just commit suicide my life would be so much better."

"Can I legally change my name to the same name, but with a bigger font?"

"Facebook So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook. It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'..."

"A guy walks into a drs office with a carrot in his ear.. ..and a piece of broccoli up his nose. The Dr told him he isn't eating right."

"Why does Noddy have a bell on top of his hat? Because he's a dickhead."

"What do you call a Jewish cop? Kosher Pork."

"What's the difference between the IRS and a baby? It takes a lot more than a hammer to make the IRS shut up."

"If the world is getting smaller why do postal rates keep going up?"

"What's the difference... What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a bra? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."