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Joke of the Day

"He's taking you for granted? Act differently. Do something spontaneous. Spice things up. Sleep with his friend."

"What is ye difference between a porcupine and a porsche? The pricks are in the inside of the Porsche."

"What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland? A consonant."

"I got a case of beer for my wife! It was a good trade!"

"Sometimes I'll flush a few slices of pizza down the toilet just to let the Ninja Turtles know I miss them"

"Two white guys and a black guy go to the police station The two white guys return"

"What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend? It's a dead letter day."

"It's important to set goals. You don't have to accomplish them or anything like that. Just set them."

"How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?"

"I may have Alzheimer's but at least I don't have Alzheimer's."