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Joke of the Day

"What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend? It's a dead letter day."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizzas? With Little Caesars"

"Rest in peace Dave ""The Diamond"" Clancy, and any other celebrity I just made up."

"One alternative to having kids is to hire two people to sit in your car and start a loud argument every time your favorite song comes on."

"Nothing like listening to old school rap on the way to the office to make you want to smack a bitch."

"This one time I farted in an Apple Store.. ...and everyone got mad. But, hey, it's not my problem they don't have *Windows*."

"What's up? The price of pussy. (My math teacher in high school use to say this one, he was cool.)"

"She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard.."

"The difference between a prostitute and a politician (NSFW) When the prostitute is paid to fuck somebody, they get fucked back."

"When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That's why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson."