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Joke of the Day

"All I got for Christmas was a sweater, I would've preferred a moaner or a biter."

"What type of cheese is strong? Shredded cheese."

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron? A smooth operator!"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to be in a movie about famous musical composers... He responded ""I'll be Bach"""

"Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in."

"What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry? My donation check to the orphanage."

"Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of ""Polish Remover""."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"How many reddit users did it take to screw on a light bulb? They could not do it, they are all autistic."

"If you were forced at gunpoint to either watch '50 Shades Of Grey' or read the book, what type of gun would you prefer to be shot dead with?"