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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the woman who got caught with pot in her fake breasts? It was a huge drug bust"

"MEN: Developed Theory of Relatively. Walked on the Moon. Painted the Mona Lisa. Baffled by bra hooks."

"I couldn't figure out how the hammer and nails worked... So I just said ""Screw it."""

"Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, ""I love you too!"" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0"

"I vote Gabe Newell for president. There will never be a World War 3."

"[at subway] And just a little lettuce. *the guy starts backing a truck full of lettuce toward my sandwich & the truck is beeping* No wait."

"On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky... ...how much do you like kids?"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because, he ate the pizza before it was cool."

"After the title ""The Fate of the Furious"", I just need next 2 movies to be titled Fast *nein* : The Fast and the *Furher*ious Fast10 : your seatbelt"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None because feminists can't change anything."