167265

Joke of the Day

"MEN: Developed Theory of Relatively. Walked on the Moon. Painted the Mona Lisa. Baffled by bra hooks."

"Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says ""I'd like a beer"" And the second says, ""I'd like rum"" They didn't wanna get H20. They were in flint."

"Getting mad at commercials for having interracial families"

"Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is getting released for the second time in Iraq. They're renaming the game to The Sims 5."

"Do you know who are the fastest readers in the world? 9-11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds."

"Why was the lobster arrested? Because he was always pinching things."

"This crime scene tape strung between two lampposts is NOT the finish line & these policemen are NOT cheering me on to a glorious victory :("

"Today someone told me that I was ignorant and apathetic. I don't know what that means and I don't care."

"Okay, calm down. It's a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!"

"I was so broke that Rahul Gandhi came in to eat at my house Indian reference"