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Joke of the Day

"Cat: Human, congratulations, I've chosen your face to sleep upon tonight. If at some point you cannot breathe, do not wake me."

"Epitaph for a house cat: ""She died as she lived..."" ""...chewing on power cords."""

"Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane? He was on the ""No Fry"" list."

"Procrastination is just like Masturbation It's fun while you're doing it until you realize all you did was fuck yourself."

"I've never been carded at a Forever 21."

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected. --Henry Cate VII"

"How many Hispanics does it take to change a light bulb..? Just Juan."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business!"

"What's another name for an assistant stable cleaner? A co-pile-it!"

"Daughter: Daddy, why do I have to go to bed so early? Me: Because we have had enough of you for today"