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Joke of the Day

"I've never been carded at a Forever 21."

"How many people does it take to make a joke on /r/Jokes? Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day."

"What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers? You can't milk a cow for 15 years."

"How to calm a crying baby: 1. Pick it up. 2. Ok, so when it turns like 5 you can put it back down. Good luck."

"Hey Prius owners your entire car is a bumper sticker"

"What do you call a lizard on drugs? A mariguana."

"Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history? Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president"

"What Did the Sadist Do to the Masochist? Nothing."

"I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in."

"If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian... then soviet"