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Joke of the Day

"I was out with my bf and a waiter called me a 'cradle robber' cuz he's 18 and I'm 43. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary."

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese."

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine"

"Dear Dreamworks, How to Train Your Dragon was not the instructional movie I was hoping for since acquiring a Komodo dragon"

"Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine."

"Why didn't the sailors play cards on the deck? Because the captain was sitting on the top of the deck."

"A hippo comes to a doctor... with a toad on his head. - What seems to be the problem? - There's something stuck to my ass, - answers the toad."

"what did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet"

"Witch Logic: I have the magical ability to turn any item into a flying vehicle. I guess I'll use that broom."

"What's a vampire cows worst fear? Steaks."