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Joke of the Day

"So it seems like Jared Fogle would get between five to twelve years That's his age range at least."

"what do you call a clean idiot? soap on a dope"

"Why do Feminists lay down during sex? They can't *stand* seeing a man have a good time."

"What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj? A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**! :-P"

"If you are a driver who swerves right before turning left, take a long hard look in the mirror, and then punch yourself in the face."

"INTERVIEWER: Do you have any hidden talents? ME: I taught myself how to play piano INTERVIEWER: By ear? ME: No, just with my hands"

"I named my house ""shape"", now I'm always in shape."

"Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday."

"How are you going to celebrate 9-11? I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes."

"On a scale of 1 to 10 you can't even weigh yourself unless you are an infant or leprechaun or something."