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Joke of the Day

"If you are a driver who swerves right before turning left, take a long hard look in the mirror, and then punch yourself in the face."

"What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose."

"I ride a dog to work... The commute's a bitch!"

"It's never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it's too late."

"There are 2 cats. One is called ""One Two Three"" and the other is called ""Un Deux Trois"", which is the best at swimming? ""One Two Three"" obviously. Because ""Un Deux Trois"" cat sank"

"Russian Joke Parents got shot, children got shot, friends got shot... Joke over back to field."

"I've realized that women don't necessarily care what I have to say, they just want to hear what they have to say repeated in a deeper voice."

"What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes."

"When Facebook moms post how they can't believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write ""No way! I thought for sure he'd be held back!"""

"I used to hate peer pressure, but my friends got me into it."