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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross NWA and Young Money? Dr. Drake."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactoes"

"[first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally"

"""NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK"" k ""NOT ""K"" THIS IS IMPORTANT"" Sorry ""THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT"" Even fish? *THUNDER* ""NO NOT FISH"

"Polish bank robber tied up the safe, blew the guard."

"I hired a PR team. They said the public would like me more if I stopped executing people. I executed the PR team."

"Silly batman joke my doctor told me today Twoface never liked it when his men shouted, 'hey you! With the face!'"

"*breaks out of prison *hunted by police for weeks *crawls thru 22 miles of mud to your house* Me: <taps on your window> DID YOU GET MY TEXT?"

"Why can't witches get pregnant? Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!"

"Did you hear about the guy who infected himself with the Zika virus? He wanted a little head."