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Joke of the Day

"I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo."

"For some reason I'm only afraid of Middle Eastern spiders... It's O.K. though. My doctor says it's normal to be Iraqnaphobic."

"What does a sick billionaire say? ""I feel like a million bucks"""

"A friend of mine in law enforcement doesn't like The Clash. I guess you could say that sheriff don't like it."

"The governers mansion in Alabama caught on fire today It burned down yhe whole trailer park."

"Anyone hungry? I read there's some leftover cat."

"A man with one leg shorter than the other visits the tower of Pisa. He says ""It looks fine to me."""

"Chuck Norris donates blood, just not his own"

"Britain is like a man on a toilet... It just wanted to get rid of that shit and leave."

"I gave a paraplegic a Rubik's cube... Left him completely stumped."