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Joke of the Day

"What does a sick billionaire say? ""I feel like a million bucks"""

"Your momma is so mean... she has no standard deviation."

"What do you call a planned organised rebellion gone wrong? A ""coup d'isaster""."

"""shaved carrots instead of cheese"" lol okay Vogue thanks for the diet advice those totally taste the same"

"""I'M SO FUCKING WET!"" She screamed... ""GIVE IT TO ME!"" Alas, she can scream all she wants, but I'm not giving her the umbrella."

"I like my coffee like I like my women: filled with booze."

"What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner? Sedimentary my dear Watson!"

"I'm getting married! Well, I have a new boyfriend! Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night! FINE. Shoe salesman said ""Come back soon""."

"My sex life is just like star wars: Its either Han Solo, or i have to use the force."

"When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing."