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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine in law enforcement doesn't like The Clash. I guess you could say that sheriff don't like it."

"The Dalai Lama enters a Pizza Shop and asks Can you make me one with everything?"

"What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one."

"How do you blind a woman? You put a windshield in front of her."

"I think global warming is real because you hardly see The Penguin on episodes of Batman anymore"

"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises..............."

"My buddy said that he was planning on making homemade bread. I told him to let me know if he kneeds anything."

"What do you call bacteria that can swim fast? Micro Phelps."

"How many literalists does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"Don't bore a girl by saying she's beautiful, like every other shallow creep Grab her interest by saving her from a staged hostage situation"