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Joke of the Day

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"This is your captain speaking. Would someone who knows how to be a pilot please come up? I'm literally just pressing buttons."

"I raped a blind woman the other day. She didn't see me coming."

"What did the fisherman say to the street magician? Pick a cod, any cod!"

"Saw a deer standing beside the highway this morning watching the traffic go by.Guess he was trying to figure out who's day he wanted to ruin"

"My girlfriend wasn't sure about trying anal at first But she quite liked it in the end"

"How do you know if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick would taste like blood"

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef stroganoff."

"Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings"

"When you wish upon a star ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams."