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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Muslim woman without a burka? Dead."

"It seems like gay guys get the most sex, lesbians get the best sex, and straight people are just fucked."

"Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear? To keep his ankles warm."

"Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated aarrrh."

"Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Grandpa. Shit, stop the funeral!!!!!"

"My buddy joined Christian Mingle... it's going pretty well, He got nailed three times in one night."

"Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents? Elephanta Claus !"

"What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas? Very hungry."

"A murderer sitting in the electric chair was about to be executed. ""Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. ""Yes"" replied the murderer. ""Will you hold my hand?"""