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Joke of the Day
"Very sad to hear about Nigel Farage. Nothing's happened to him, I'm just sad to hear about him."
Next Joke
"A man walks into a grocery store in the countryside and asks...[brazilian joke] How much is a dozen bananas?   And the cashier replies:   -Twelve bananas"
"So there we were, 5 against a 100... man, did we fuck those 5 up."
"OMG. My wife's boyfriend made such a fuss when I told his parents at dinner about how noisy those two are in bed."
"What do you call a lousy psychic? Telepathetic."
"I hate it when my wife asks if I've been drinking and I accidentally respond with a 9-minute air guitar solo."
"This Male Order Bride is the worst and most expensive typo I've ever paid for."
"The best DVD feature is when the audio is so quiet during dialogue I have to crank the volume then in action scenes its so loud my pets die."
"I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It's not her main present, just a stocking filler"
"In honor of MLK day: Why don't black people sleep? ...Because the only one that had a dream was shot."