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Joke of the Day

"So there we were, 5 against a 100... man, did we fuck those 5 up."

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"What's a muslim's favourite game? Goat Stimulator"
"An American and a Finn are drinking in a bar... After an hour, the American says ""ahh, this is good beer."" The Finn says ""Are we drinking or talking?"""
"One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol."
"When it comes to making Pokemon puns you could say I'm Machamp"
"What did the Mexican doctor tell the Lone Ranger? Estas muriendo. Tu necesitas chemo. Sabe?"
"I'm not making any resolutions this year because I'm still working on the ones from 2003."
"""Tell them I just left and should be there any minute."" -Every delivery guy, ever"
"Most TV ads: men are dumb, women are annoying, you're stupid & that's great, eat this fatty, America!, 4-hr erections, you're so alone."
"Why did the chicken hold a seance? To get to the other side."