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Joke of the Day

"Liverpool football club"

"I approached a photographer and took his picture. He had me arrested.."

"Xanax, keeping moms from dropping their kids off at an orphanage since 1981."

"The Seahawks were going to go to Disney World... but they decided to pass."

"If lesbians don't like men, then why do they use dildos? Because scissoring just doesn't cut it."

"Everyone said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as my rifles but I'm sticking to my guns."

"That was easy... Said Yoda, after to Staples he went."

"Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex"

"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb. - Steve Martin, ""My Blue Heaven"""

"Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes."