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Joke of the Day

"Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex"

"How do you get 50 little old ladies to scream FUCK at the same time? Have the 51st scream BINGO!"

"A row machine that actually moves around the gym."

"Republicans, don't forget to set your clocks back 50 years"

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? Because he was out-standing in his field."

"Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!"

"I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying ""gracias"" at Mexican restaurants."

"I think my cell mate is gay... He closes his eyes when I kiss him goodnight."

"A feminist, a vegan and a CrossFitter walk into a bar. What happens next? His head explodes, because he can't decide which one to tell you about first."

"As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable. I guess power corrupts."