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Joke of the Day

"Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!"

"Toaster Settings: 1) I do nothing. 2) I do nothing. 3) I SET THE BREAD ON FIRE!"

"I don't understand Fox and Friends. No one on the show is named Fox. Are they friends with a TV channel?"

"There are a lot of deadbeat dads out there trying to make up for lost time by ""liking"" their grown children's facebook updates."

"How many people can ride on a bird? Toucan."

"My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait."

"I like my coffee how I like my women With big tits"

"What does a witch enjoy cooking most? Gnomelettes."

"An extremely close friend just confided in me that he likes comic sans. He is no longer my close friend."

"Senator John Tester from Montana and his executive assistant both have only seven fingers. That is so hot!"