112269

Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee how I like my women With big tits"

"Do pigs like Backgammon? No they prefer their backs scratched."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't Budget<drops mic> Ironically I'm an Accountant and have Chron's so this is not my problem."

"If you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating... Because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything."

"A thimble, a battleship, a car, a wheelbarrow, a top hat, a dog, a shoe, and an iron walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind here, can't be part of a Monopoly."""

"My friend's in a wheelchair and he acts like he's the toughest guy around. He can talk the talk, but..."

"I see bed, people."

"When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun"

"What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck? I'm not sure, but I know ***IT LIKES TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT***"

"I met two guys named Otto and Manuel at a party... ...Manuel made me do all the talking but Otto wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise!"